The Teen Choice Awards 2007 may have been environmentally friendly (so they said -- many of the stars arrived in hybrids!) but they sure weren’t very sci-fi/fantasy friendly. Though there was some recognition on the movie front -- the Jerry Bruckheimer effectsfest Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Shia LaBeouf from Transformers, and Fantastic Four’s Jessica Alba -- genre TV was nowhere to be seen, despite a decent handful of nominations. Though we did get to see Supernatural’s Jared Padelecki -- as a presenter. (In fact we even learned that Jared started his career at the Teen Choice Awards, as an trophy gopher. Go Jared.)
You’d think that a show as eager to be hip and cool as the Teen Choice Awards would dispense with the leaden and inane presenter banter that generally plagues awards shows, but it was even thicker on the ground than usual here. And the Teen Choice Award for Worst Banter definitely goes to Justin Long, who desperately tried to wring laughs out of an appalling bit in which he worked up to calling fellow Alvin and the Chipmunks star Jason Lee a racist liar. Comedy gold, that was.
We also have a Best Censored Banter Award, for whatever Dane Cook said “wiggles” when he laughs. Nothing like ten seconds of dead audio to spice up a supposedly live broadcast. And watching Snoop Dogg rapping about Hillary Duff was just .., bizarre.
On the plus side, Fergie’s heartfelt acceptance speech, in which she talked about this being the only award that meant anything to her because it came from the fans, was really sweet. And everyone's glad the not-ugly-at-all America Farerra won. She seems nice. Best of all, we got a preview of just how bland future Emmy host Ryan Seacrest is going to be. How bland is bland? Think lite mayonnaise.
Though genre TV didn't make the grade, I can at least console myself by thinking that, if only Zac Efron had done sci-fi this year, we could have gotten all the Teen Choice surfboards we needed. And who’s to say he didn’t. After all, what planet are those squeaky-clean High School Musical kids from, anyway?
For the record, here’s who did win:
MOVIES
- Choice Movie, Action Adventure – “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End”
- Choice Movie, Drama – “The Pursuit of Happyness”
- Choice Movie Actor, Drama – Will Smith (“The Pursuit of Happyness”)
- Choice Movie Actor, Action Adventure – Johnny Depp
- Choice Movie Actress, Action Adventure – Keira Knightley (“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End”)
- Choice Movie Actress, Comedy – Sophia Bush (“John Tucker Must Die”)
- Choice Movie Actor, Horror/Thiller – Shia LaBeouf (“Disturbia”)
- Choice Movie Actress, Horror/Thiller – Sophia Bush (“The Hitcher”)
- Choice Movie Actress, Drama – Jennifer Hudson (“Dreamgirls”)
- Choice Movie Villain – Bill Nighy (“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End”)
- Choice Movie Hissy Fit – Ryan Seacrest (“Knocked Up”)
- Choice Movie Breakout, Male – Shia LeBeouf
- Choice Movie Breakout, Female – Sophia Bush
- Choice Movie Dance – Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan (“Step Up”)
- Choice Movie Chemistry – Will Smith and Jayden Smith (“The Pursuit of Happyness”)
- Choice Movie Scream – Steve Carell (“Evan Almighty”)
TELEVISION
- Choice TV Movie – “High School Musical 2”
- Choice TV Show, Comedy – “Hannah Montana”
- Choice TV Show, Reality/Variety – "American Idol"
- Choice TV Actor, Comedy – Steve Carell (“The Office”)
- Choice TV Actress, Comedy – Miley Cyrus (“Hannah Montana”)
- Choice TV Breakout – America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”)
- Choice TV Male Reality/Variety Star – Sanjaya ("American Idol")
- Choice TV Female Reality/Variety Star – Lauren Conrad (“The Hills”)
MUSIC
- Choice Music Single – “Girlfriend,” Avril Lavigne
- Choice Music Male Artist – Justin Timberlake
- Choice Music Female Artist – Fergie
- Choice Music Rap Artist – Timbaland
- Choice Music R&B Artist – Rihanna
- Choice Music Breakout Artist, Female – Vanessa Hudgens
- Choice Music Breakout Artist, Male – Akon
- Choice Music Love Song – “With Love,” Hilary Duff
- Choice Music R&B Track – “Beautiful Girls,” Sean Kingston
- Choice Music Payback Track – “What Goes Around...Comes Around,“ Justin Timberlake
OTHER AWARDS
- Choice Male Hottie – Zac Efron
- Choice Female Hottie – Jessica Alba
- Choice Comedian – Dane Cook
- Choice Summer Movie, Comedy/Musical – “Hairspray”
- Choice Summer Artist – Miley Cyrus
- Choice V Cast Video – “The Hills”
- Choice Song of the Summer – “Hey There Delilah,” Plain White T’s
- Choice TV Show of the Summer – “Degrassi”
